Part 2 - The People

There is one woman in my life that has been like a sister to me, in due time, I found it really hard to not talk to her every day. She taught me a lot about life, and things that she had learned, I enjoyed talking to her before volleyball games, and during class. I saw her for a majority of the first four months of my senior year. Before school, during school, and after school there she was, door open always willing to have a conversation with me. She was in my life for a season, for some unknown reason, God wanted her to part from me in the middle of the year. God blessed her with the most adorable child ever, Aubrie Mae, and then he sent her husband to a job back in Kansas. Now, I knew that baby was going to come and that she would be leaving school for a while, but the Kansas news was very shocking to me. Not only did she never tell me but it was the worst thing I had ever heard. I felt like a knife had just been stuck in my heart. I sat there trying to enjoy the last months we would have together, and thinking oh she will be back before the school year ends, the school year is at its end and she isn’t coming back. For once, I had found someone that I could talk to openly and freely about anything that was bothering me. I could cry in front of her if I wanted to, not that I ever did. She was there for me and I was there for her. It actually came to the point where I refused to do things for her because she decided to be a jerk. The daily jokes about my ex and how she uses just to “get a reaction out of me because it makes her laugh”, were something I grew accustomed to.

Steph, oh my, I will never forget the day we spent together before I left for Notre Dame and the day before you had the baby. You and I went and walked the track and talked after school. We spent at least 3 hours together after school that day. Talking about my relationship with my family and how I wanted to fix it and how its not nearly perfect. I didn’t really expect that to be the last day I saw her at school, but it was. I told her not to have Aubrie until I got back from Notre Dame but no, she had her two days later! The best part was when she called me when I was about to turn off my phone on the plane and I said “Hi” and she said “What are you doing?” and I said “I am on the plane” and then she yelled at me and said “OMG, what are you doing answering you are supposed to have your phone off! Turn off your phone!” and then I told her, “I was just about to but you called me so I answered.” Then she laughed at me and said “Ok, well I was just calling back but call me when you land so I know you are safe and have a great time!” Oh man, what a great person she is, I miss her so much and I wish she was here for me right now, because she always had the right advice for me and I always felt better after talking to her. I wouldn’t have had my senior year any other way, without her I’d be more lost now than I was to begin with.

There are three more girls in my life where I am not quite sure where they fit yet, The relationships I have with them are ones that I have learned to appreciate and never take for granted. They have put up with me no matter what even when they felt that I would never change. These three girls have helped me through so much that they made me appreciate friendships more than ever this year. I learned what being a good friend in return has for you.

This girl made the Ashley that stands before you today, she changed the way she looks, and dresses and pretty much taught me how to have a good time. I sat there watching Lauren struggle through her junior year, and trying to be the best friend I could to her. Watching the girls she had been friends with all through high school continually stab her in the back was so devastating to her that I could not stand watching her cry or be as miserable as she was. I tried so hard to be there for when she needed me and let her vent to me on the phone. When things came to the point of authorities in the middle of it, I helped her, my dad helped her, it’s when I realized that one day, she would do the same for me. I have constantly watched out for her and never turned my back on her. This year, she found herself in my position, this year our friendship was taken to a whole new level. During the summer I experienced my first break up, and when I say Lauren was there for it, I mean, she was literally on the phone with me five minutes before it all happened telling me what to say and how to say it. Then the minute it was done, I called her and she was already at her house waiting for me. She came home from a party, just to help me get through it all. She dragged me out of my bed the next night and took me driving with her friend that was visiting and we drove and rocked out to music, all because she wanted me happy. This girl, helped me survive this summer and all of my senior year, she made me realize the things I didn’t want to realize about friends and ones that I thought were my friends, our roles had switched. She was now watching me struggle. She watched me deal with the hardships of a first break up and the drama that went a long with. She was there with the backstabbing friends that I had been friends with for year. She never failed to come over after her long nights at work just to watch a movie or tv or just plain out talk. It was fun, this year has been fun with her, just me and her. We sit there through fifth period doing nothing but talking then going out after school to golden spoon or to her house for some “bomb quesadillas” haha. Life with Lauren by my side made this senior year bearable. Even when we were not hanging out on the weekends the phone calls for the “catching up” times was always fun. Spending the night. Hanging out. Doing that secret thing before the big CIF Finals [no one knows still so yea it’s a secret]. Football game. Watching her cheer. Lauren Turner is just that friend I can always have a good time with. I like going to her house and spending time with her and her mom and dad who always make me laugh. I enjoy laughing about the past with her and just plain out making fun of her. We just have this friendship where we can be such bitches to each other in the nicest way. Or as I like to put it sometimes….

That’s just the way it is with Lauren. Whether we are out partying, sitting at our houses eating and watching a movie, or just driving around randomly we never fail to have a good time. Sure we have our little moments when we both get on each others back because of certain things we have no control over but it doesn’t mean we hate each other. I love that her and I are such good friends, when I never though I would be friends with some one like her. Miss bubbly bobbling head blonde haired cheerleader that shops at Hollister. Oh man, to think she would be my best friend. Sheesh. Haha. I love it. All I gotta say is she is here for a lifetime, her mommy said so. “Lauren you and Ashley are going to be friends forever I can see it” Almost everyone says that and I absolutely love it. I pray that she stays here for a lifetime, but I have no control over the future, well I do but she gives me hints that she is going to miss me more than I thought, and it’s the most reassuring thing ever. She finally supports my decision if I choose to leave to Chicago which shows to me that she will be here supporting me for as long as I stay supporting her and believe me Lauren is one of those friends I don’t plan to lose. I love her to death and forever we will be *AL* =].

OMG, what to say about this lovely lady friend of mine. She has been my friend since freshmen year the day we met in PE and volleyball. We of course have had our ups and downs and still do till this day but we love each other oh so very much. She is my family and I am her family. We eat, sleep, and make a mess at each others houses all the time. She is my best friend. I wouldn’t have our friendship any other way, she is completely honest with me and I am completely honest with her. I call her my best friend for those reasons exactly. We know how to have a good time together and if we need a shoulder to cry on we give each other a call. We refuse to let each other be sad when we are in the presence of each other. Never is there a dull moment when we are together. Whether we are TPing, forking, partying, shopping, watching a movie, or smoking the hookah, we are having a random crazy time. I admire Gen more than she knows, she is by far one of the strongest girls I have ever been friends with. She has experienced a lot in her life such as illnesses that I am glad she has overcome and has finally moved on from them. What she experienced is something that is very difficult to deal with and I am glad that she will never go through that again. I have never been one to like hearing the truth but with Gen it’s become expected. She always tells me what I know is true but don’t ever want to admit. If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be able to get through some of the stuff at school. According to Steph, “Don’t worry about where Gen is, she is always going to be here for you because I can see the bond between you guys.” It is so reassuring to hear that. It is reassuring that one of the most important girls in high school and the other one, I have been told are always going to be around. Life with Gen has been great. She is going to have crazy fun in college that I wish I could be a part of, but hey I’ll be doing my own thing too. After our crazy weekends those Sunday phone calls to share stories will always be quite eventful. And of course, we will have to meet up with her teeny tiny hookah to relax together. Gen is pretty much a necessity in my life, not talking to her every day is going to be devastating but I think we can make it. I mean we already started discussing her wedding and how I am going to be in it haha. Who will she marry? I don’t know but she knows they have to pass the Ashley test, and then I can give her the right hand motion [inside joke]. I intend to keep on working on the relationship I have with her forever and that we will always keep in touch. We have been through the hard parts of the friendship and now its just friends from here on out. My lifetime buddy is going to Cal Poly SLO, I am going, …somewhere. She will always be in my heart and she says I will always be in hers. When we both come home to visit, we already know there are days designated just for the two of us, and that, is what keeps me happy knowing we will always see each other on breaks. Gen and I have this motto that keeps us going through life and it’s this:

LIVE LIFE BY THE RIGHT HAND NOT THE LEFT.

Now, there is one more special girl in my life. She is by far the definition of a necessity. She has helped me grow and change and learn so much about myself and life. She has made me a better a person, and continues to make me feel special every day. If I need help she is there, if I need advice she is there. She has been everything I could ask for in a friend. She has helped me better understand things that I never thought I could understand. She made me realize that it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks. She taught me that in the end it’s my happiness that matters most, so I need to do what makes me happy and stop worrying about pleasing other people. She took the time to listen always listening and always helping even though she probably could have been doing something more important or entertaining, but instead she chose to help me. She forced me to stop running away from my problems and understand that one day I would run out of places to run, and I did. She saw things that none of my other friends saw, for example how distant I was from my parents and my family. She made me realize a lot about my relationship with my family and how something needed to be done about fast, so I worked on it. She is someone that I learned to trust within in months of talking, someone that I built a strong relationship with faster than anyone I have every known, and she is someone that I am deathly scared of losing. I don’t know why she and I became so close but she taught me just to take it for what it is. Stop questioning why someone comes into your life or why someone cares about you so much, just accept it and enjoy it. I never in a million years thought we would be this close, how we started talking we both still don’t understand till this day. I look forward to the midnight talks and using the excuse “but it’s Elysia.” I love when she texts me when she is in the valley and asks if I am home or what I am doing because in Elysia words that means I am going to come over soon. I love going to Irvine to spend time with her even if we just sit in her dorm doing nothing or we talk about life, and her all time favorite subject “the A”. She is so much smarter and experienced so much more about life and has so much to offer to the world it amazes me, she is just, the Big One, just Elysia:

She is the only one that understands why this process about college has been so hard for me, and she has been there every step of the way to help me. She made me realize things about Chicago and about Cal Lutheran, and she knows I have a decision to make. She knows how in love I am with Loyola but she also knows how in love I am with my friends, and she knows she is part of the reason, but she was the first one to tell me, to do what I want because I have to be happy. She was the first one to say, “I need to stop being selfish” I will definitely remember that night. She has grown on me, and I have definitely grown on her [you know its true]. As much as I try to understand why the heck God put her in my life like he did and had her grow on me when I am trying to leave, I will never understand. What I do understand is this, she doesn’t make promises she can’t keep, she doesn’t promise that things will be the same if I leave and I am sure she doesn’t promise that they will be the same if I stay, but she does promise me this, she will try her heart out whether or not they do or don’t is a mystery. I’m scared that she is only here for a reason, that reason being teaching me everything I have learned, and I am scared that once she is done teaching, for whatever reason the friendship will just drift away, but it’s assuring to hear “Ashley, you have become quite the necessity…” and gives me all the more reason to just accept the fact that she is here and just take it for what it is. Sometimes I wish I knew just how to thank her, and just tell her how much I appreciate her, and everything she does for me, but I have never been that good at expressing it let alone showing it. She knows that. I was hoping that maybe this would be able to explain how much I appreciate her, but I am sure no one will still quite understand. Just know that some day, I will be able to find a way to thank her, but for now, I am just going to live for the moment and take it for what it is, two things she has constantly stressed to me. Two things, that I will take with me everywhere, and two sayings that I will always remember and tell other people, My Big taught me that one, she is the most amazing person I have ever met, maybe one day you will be lucky enough to meet her, beucase I know I sure was and I thank God for that every day!