Elysia.

i miss your hugs.
i miss your talks.
i miss OUR drives.
i miss it all.
but most importantly ...
i miss YOU.

I'm sorry that things have been so difficult lately, this was the last thing I wanted to happen. We had the best conversation tonight in a long time and I enjoyed every minute of it. I felt like your little once again. I hadn't felt like that in a long time. I felt like you allowed me to learn to be by myself, but tonight for once I felt like I was under your big sister shield and it felt just like it always was/is. When you said things wouldn't be the same I thought you were lying, you are right they aren't the same, because as we both know we both are busy girls who are trying to do things right in these important four years to get us to where we want to be. You are not a temporary friend, a seasonal friend, or one that was here for a reason, because if that was the case, you would have been gone a long time ago. Please, please don't ever think that again. You are definitely not replaceable either. There is this girl named Jeannie, from ASCLU-G, she is amazing, and also your age, she refers to me as her freshmen, yea I let her, but it doesn't mean I am completely for it. I don't like it to be quite honest, she can't take your spot, you are too amazing and have done so much for me that being referred to someone else as "their" something, no way jose it aint going to happen. Why? Because I am YOUR LITTLE... I don't care if that sorority little of yours is a little too but I'm better...just like that one asian girl that had your name, "she's cute...i'm cuter", that's how I feel about your sorority little :). In the nicest way of course. Big, I hate how things have gone down so far, I feel like it's my fault, I am pretty sure it is. I hate that I don't go to UCI, but at the same time I love that I am not in Chicago, I mean after the other conversation we had I about down right wished I was in Chicago since I was losing friends left and right and apparently I should have just gone, but you taught me it is so much more than that. As I sit here thinking about my life and where I want to go, and you think that I am not going to transfer, you know me better than anyone else, better than my own mother, which is scary. Oh how I'd love to be at UCI right now, oh how I'd love all of it, but there is a reason I am here right? There is a reason we have never gone to school together, and have always been friends since we started talking, never being able to see each other every day, or be at the same school. It would have never happened had God planed it otherwise. God wants you in my life, wanna know why. I was more lost than you thought, I was lost in all aspects of life, family, friends, love, and even spiritually. I started wanting to go to church more and started talking about God more because of you. Everything you ever believed in had something to do with God. It made me believe once again that if I put everything in his hands it will be okay. So you know what, I put our friendship in his hands, and I know it will be okay, because he knows, that I NEED YOU. We talked about friends we can do without, I've let go of them, I have three friends I can whole heartedly depend on, and you are one of them. If you ever walked out of my life I don't know what would happen. I don't know how I would react. Remember your favorite word: faith. Have faith in my Elysia, have faith that even if I don't talk to you, it doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about you. Have faith that I won't let the friendship die, you know I hate letting go of friends. You I have a hard time calling my friend. People ask me who you are and I wanna say you are my sister/friend/mentor/big/Elysia, but they won't get it. Just have faith that I have faith in you, and if we have faith in each other, and put everything in God's hands, I think...actually I know, we will be just fine.
-Little.

P.S

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
everything that I would like to be?
and I can fly higher than an eagle
you are the wind beneath my wings

trust. i need you.

love you.